So...

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Here's a new one, I feel like shit. Oh wait that's not a new one. Great. Once again I do something wrong and I feel like a shitty person. I'm human! I'm human everyone so leave me alone. I just want to get the fuck out of here. Yup, I'm being selfish. Yup, I suck. I don't care.

I am so frustrated.

Why do people put all the pressure on me? I can't make all you people happy. Sue me. Push me off a cliff then. I feel like such a shitty person all the time. Because of everyone else's standards. So I'm a shitty friend, a shitty person, shitty daughter. FUCK. Im SORRY. I'm fucking sorry and maybe one day I'll be better.

I'm sorry I can't make everyone happy. I'm sorry I can't make you or you happy, sorry I can't make anyone happy. Not myself, not anyone.

And I'm with my boyfriend all the time, because he doesnt make me feel like shit.
I'm sick of feeling like shit.
I should be happy right now, with my friends and enjoying the last of my childhood. Before I really have to grow some balls and grow up, which I'm finding is difficult to do.
But I'm not. I'm sad and lonely and I have the gaps to fill and they remain empty.

I'm lost and I wish people would stop bashing me.
I'm hurt too you know? But that shit doesn't matter does it?

Fuck all you.

I'm gonna be a fucking hermit.

She said I throw myself away
They're just photos after all
And I can't make you hang around
I can't wash you off my skin

I Gotta rememeber

to document this. write down the memories ive recently had.
we got closer to some people.
and met someone new!
-Anthony, our new best friend :]
:]
And me and andrew just continue to grow closer. And love eachother even more.
Is that possible?

I feel like shit.
Please take me away.

Empty.

That's how I always feel, huh? I cried myself to sleep last night. It's been a while since I've done that. Today I woke up feeling miserable. As miserable and emotionally exhausted as I did the night before, if not worse. So I got myself up after more pitiful crying and took a long walk in the rain. It started pouring and I felt so liberated and sad and tired and miserable. But all in all I felt better. Walking, sprinting, breathing hard, crying out there in the pouring rain. It was beautiful and I guess I just wanted to express that before I lost my train of thought. I'm okay, I can pick myself up.

Never depend on anyone but yourself.
This is where I always fail.