Lately, Andrew and I have been talking about leaving. Just leaving, without saying a word to anyone and go. It's been just a dream for us, I suppose. But each time we talk about it we get closer and closer to actually acting on the absurd thought. How selfish and impulsive would that be? I would love to leave though, and drive off somewhere. To Oregon maybe. No worries, whatsoever..well until I returned of course. If that were to ever happen. But then what of college? High school? Won't I be the ultimate failure to everyone then? Not just to everyone.. but to myself. I don't want that at all. I have this whole, huge, amazing life I'm planning out in my head. With little kiddies, my dream house, my dream life. And I don't know if all that will even have the chance to happen if I up and leave right now. Though, the more we discuss it, the more tempting it is. I love Andrew, I truly do. It's weird, that crazy, irrational, yet again selfish running away idea seems perfect because of him. I feel like I'd be fine as long as... well as long as I had him beside me. Haha what a cheesy, cliche line. I'm such a cornball. Can you be in love at 17? Is that possible or are all these relationships at this age meaningless, hormone filled, immature, acts of puppy love? Well, me and Andrew are a bit different I guess. He is so damn amazing. How we ended up together, I have no clue. It is fun to go over and explore our story in my head at times, just thinking about how we came together. Let me start off by saying, it is amazing, lucky, and ironic to be with my first. Haha, what are the odds? We're planning on writing this amazing book about our lives. So far it's been crazy, especially ever since he came back into my life after four years. Doesn't stuff like this only happen in the movies? The lover leaves and they lose touch and that lover returns and meets with their lover again and then they fall madly in love with eachother all over again but BETTER, even more profound and loving. There's our story, with much more detail of course. I think he's the one, you know that one person you want to spend the rest of your days with, doing anything and everything or absolutely nothing. Your soulmate, I guess. It feels like we've loved before, maybe in another life we were both lovers. Maybe we were mates as birds in another life. HAAHAA, or maybe I'm just this in love with him. Love can seriously make you crazy, but sooo down to earth. When nothing could be worse, he's always the silver lining. How trite and overused I must sound? But it's all true, when you find someone worth everything. All those idiotic love songs and all those romance movies and novels all relate to you and your own feelings towards your own love. I feel so blessed to have him, hopefully this isn't another high school relationship, but somehow I know it isn't. And he doesn't even know how far my love goes for him. I am such a sucker for this kid. Can your boyfriend be your best friend too? Thinking back on the SHORT but LONG 5 months, of love, I've had the most fun and excitement that my meaningless 17 years of life have ever had. Well for now, you get the jist right? I'm so exhausted, and I decided to stay up for some stupid reason out of my own head, to finish homework all of which I have not touched. HAHAAH. damn you internet. But, basically... I may runaway and be a hippie bum with Andrew, have an amazing dream life(I say amazing a lot), I love Andrew(obviously), I've spent time composing this blog and doing nothing but talking to andrew haha in the process, I'm writing a book of our memoirs, & did I mention I love Andrew. HAHA, yes I am a sucker for love. Goodnight, sweet dreams :]
<3Love yourself and others :]
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